By Upsocl
noviembre 19, 2020

Many young women are choosing not to have children. For them, motherhood isn’t a path to fulfillment and success.

As we enter the second decade of the 21st century, one of the defining features of our time is the variety of different lifestyles and life choices available to us. The internet has brought the world’s knowledge to our door and people can search and search until they find the advice they are looking for, with regards to their life choices. There’s no longer a single accepted blueprint for life: nowadays people can choose to follow their own path.

Gastón Taylor

And one of the things that often garners the most attention regarding these lifestyle changes is without a doubt the modern approach to family. Traditionally, the family unit was seen as the foundation of society. Everybody’s life revolved around their families and later, once they came of age, around starting a family of their own.

Gastón Taylor

In today’s world family in the traditional sense isn’t so much an obligation as an option, which has led many women to make the decision to simply not have children.

Gastón Taylor

One of those women, Ailín Cubelo Naval from Argentina, shared her story on Infobae. In it she related her decision to undergo tubal ligation surgery, a permanent way to prevent pregnancy. The story has attracted a lot of attention because Ailín is only 22 years old.

“Just like how for some people the desire to be a mother is natural, for me the desire not to be one is also natural. I had my tubes tied because I don’t want to have children not now, not ever.

When people asked me if I wanted to be a mother, I always answered ‘in my 30s’ or ‘I only want one’. Instead of just accepting that I don’t want children, I made excuses or pushed the question away.”

–Ailín Cubelo Naval told Infobae

Gastón Taylor

Her decision resonantes with many other women who are starting to question whether motherhood is something they really want. They argue that they are burdened with an obligation to have and raise children as a result of the patriarchal society we live in. And in light of this, some of them have decided to break the mold, which is something easier said than done.

“I told my gynecologist that I wanted to have my tubes tied and he refused, telling me to have a think about it and come back in six or seven months and that having kids is good, that he had two. He asked me for the input of some kind of psychological expertise, such as a note from my psychologist confirming that I’m in my right mind. That’s completely illegal. I left the clinic in tears.”

–Ailín Cubelo Naval told Infobae

Gastón Taylor

Of course the question that most often plagues Ailín when people hear about her decision is if she will come to regret her actions one day. But she is confident:

“I don’t think it will happen but if I come to regret my decision, there’s always the opportunity of adopting a child which fits more with my life philosophy which is not to bring any more children into the world and instead look after those who are already here and have needs.

The comments I get most often are: ‘and when you’re old, who will look after you?’, ‘who will you leave your legacy to?’, ‘what about when you fall in love?’ and ‘What about when you meet the perfect person and you want to give them a child’. Motherhood is idolized the whole time.”

–Ailín Cubelo Naval for Infobae

Gastón Taylor

The help of support groups such as “Libre de hijos- Argentina” was essential for Ailín to finally muster up the courage to carry out her decision. They also recommended a gynecologist to her who wouldn’t raise ideological objections to her decisions, something which was of paramount importance to Ailín who felt she couldn’t escape social pressure.

Once she had made the decision to undergo the surgery Ailín also found out that this procedure would drastically reduce her risk of ovarian cancer. But the most important thing it gave her was a new perspective on life:

“I’m coming across many people who comment in the groups ‘If I’d had this information when I was younger, I wouldn’t have had kids’. Motherhood shouldn’t be imposed on women by society. I don’t judge those who’ve chosen to be mothers, I don’t walk down the street saying ‘oi look at how this one ruined her life, she’s out of her mind, why on earth does she have 3 kids?”.

–Ailín Cubelo Naval for Infobae

Gastón Taylor

Her story will be hugely inspiring for other girls who may gin themselves in the same position. The obstacles she had to overcome in order to make her  dreams a reality might be daunting for someone wishing to follow in her footsteps. For those girls, Ailín is a pioneer for another way to be a woman in the 21st century.

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