Lilia (27) and Ulises (30) always knew that they didn’t want kids, even before they met. Despite all the criticism and suggestions, he decided to have a vasectomy and she’s going to wait until the pandemic is under control to have her surgery. The only opinions that matter are their own.
We could say that, over time, there’s been a big paradigm shift in the way families are formed. Before, it was quite simple: getting married and having children went hand in hand, and it was poorly badly perceived if this wasn’t the case.
However, today, many couples are deciding not to have children and to break with “tradition”, knowing all the commitments and responsibilities that come with having a child, in addition to the obvious sacrifice it has on one’s personal and marital life.
Having said that, the case of Lilia and Ulises was widely reported in the media. They’re two firefighters from Hermosillo (Sonora, Mexico), who are dating and, at barely 30 years of age, have decided to undergo a surgery that will keep themselves from having children. Ulises has already undergone a vasectomy, and Lilia is going to wait until the pandemic is under greater control before undergoing her surgery.
For Ulises, fatherhood was a complicated and worrying topic because he never wanted to have children. For the same reason, when he met Lilia and found out what she thought about it, he wanted her to be with him forever.
“When we met, we wanted to be more open with each other. We were already grown-ups and in a serious relationship. We already knew what we wanted and how we wanted to do it. So, when she told me, ‘You know what? I don’t want kids,’ I was impressed because I don’t either, and that was the moment when we said, ‘We belong together’.”
—Ulises Velásquez to El Imparcial—
In addition, Ulises commented that many congenital diseases run in his family, so he was very afraid that his possible future children would inherit one of these. This was a reaffirmation of his position.
For this reason, he and Lilia looked for contraceptive methods for both of them. However, when they realized that they were all for women and could put Lilia’s health at risk, Ulises decided to take the first step and have a vasectomy.
“For me, it was a great act of love that he decided to have surgery. Still, I have a desire to do it too once the pandemic is over, to reassert my position and not take risks of any kind. My family has learned to respect my decision. They’re a little disappointed, but they accept that this is what I want.”
—Lilia Zoraya Echeverría to El Imparcial—
Family, friends and even doctors have warned them of the consequences of their decisions, but Lilia and Ulises are adults who know perfectly well what they want.