After 13 years of marriage, Bethany Meola acknowledged that she and her husband had fallen into something many couples probably know well: routine.
Between their careers, the house, and raising three children, there was very little space for their relationship. Until they learned about the so-called “six-second kiss”.
The practice was popularized by couples therapists and clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman. It involves something as simple as pausing once a day to kiss your partner for six seconds.
At first, Bethany admits that turning a kiss into another task on the list seemed a little ridiculous to her. But she noticed a difference. Those six seconds were enough to stop the autopilot and remember that the person in front of her was the one she loved and had chosen to share her life with.
The idea is to make it a small ritual: before leaving the house, when you get home from work, or just before going to sleep. For the Gottmans, these moments help keep a relationship from being reduced to nothing but organizing the children, schedules, shopping, and obligations. A small action that strengthens affection and connection and could prevent several breakups.
And why exactly six seconds? The Gottmans argue that this time of intentional intimacy can encourage the release of oxytocin and create a sense of connection and trust. However, it is not a magic formula for every couple: Julie Gottman warns that when there is a great deal of mistrust or a serious unresolved conflict, forcing this kind of intimacy can feel inauthentic.