Alex Gear was just 15 years old when he began drinking to feel more confident around women. Soon after, he lost his virginity and, after a few drinks, managed to do it. But the experience ended up leaving an unexpected mark: the relationship ended weeks later, and he became convinced it was because he had not done it well.
Over the following years, the anxiety kept growing. Every encounter could become a source of fear and shame, and alcohol ended up becoming a way to try to numb those feelings.
By March 2022, his drinking had reached the point where on some days he would wake up and start drinking at 8:30 in the morning. During that same period, a dangerous mix of substances and alcohol ended up leading him to need medical attention.
But the episode that finally made him seek help occurred in August 2023. After being with a woman, Alex suffered a panic attack that left him with nausea, dizziness, a racing heart, and difficulty breathing for 24 hours. He even had to miss work.
That was when he began to face the problem in a different way, with cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, counseling, and breathing exercises.
Over time, he also met Heidi, whom he was able to tell about his fears. The relationship progressed slowly while Alex continued working on his recovery.
Today, he has left behind his former job as a stonemason and become an intimacy coach, helping other men who live with similar fears and anxieties.