After 13 years of marriage, Bethany Meola admitted that she and her husband had fallen into something many couples probably know well: routine.
Between their careers, the house, and raising three children, there was very little room for their relationship. Until they discovered the so-called “six-second kiss”.
The practice was popularized by couples therapists and clinical psychologists John and Julie Gottman. It involves something as simple as pausing once a day to kiss your partner for six seconds.
At first, Bethany admits, it seemed a little ridiculous to turn a kiss into another task on the list. But she noticed a difference. Those six seconds were enough to stop running on autopilot and remember that the person in front of her was the one she loved and had chosen to share her life with.
The idea is to turn it into a small ritual: before leaving the house, when you get home from work, or just before going to sleep. For the Gottmans, these moments help keep a relationship from being reduced to organizing the kids, schedules, shopping, and obligations. It’s a small act that strengthens affection and connection and could prevent several breakups.
And why exactly six seconds? The Gottmans maintain that this time of intentional intimacy can encourage the release of oxytocin and create a sense of connection and trust. However, it’s not a magic formula for every couple: Julie Gottman warns that when there is a lot of distrust or a serious unresolved conflict, forcing this kind of intimacy can feel inauthentic.