Nicole Kidman surprised people when she spoke about her approach to raising her children and left them with a phrase that quickly sparked a conversation: “I’m not here to be your best friend”.
The actress explained that, although she wants to be a close presence in their lives, her role as a mother is different from that of a friend. In her view, children need someone to guide them, advise them, and be a safe place they can always return to.
“You are a mother first. You are also a guide, a mentor, and a safe haven”, she said during an interview with The Daily Telegraph.
Kidman added that she tries to be “the person who is their rock”, even when that means saying something her children do not want to hear.
The statement sparked divided opinions. Some parents agreed with the actress and said that constantly seeking their children’s approval can make parenting and the ability to set boundaries more difficult.
Others, however, defended a more equal relationship and felt that being a father or mother also involves building trust, friendship, and a close bond.
The actress has four children: Bella and Connor, from her relationship with Tom Cruise, and Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, from her marriage to Keith Urban.
In the same conversation, Kidman spoke about her daughter Sunday, who began pursuing a career as a model. She recalled that her own mother supported her when she wanted to pursue acting, and that this support influenced her decision to allow her daughter to follow her own passion.
In the end, her stance does not seem to be about keeping her distance, but rather about establishing a clear difference between supporting and indulging.
And that leaves us with the question that divides many parents: do children need a mother who is their best friend or a figure who knows how to say “no” when necessary?